


What Am I?

by SilverMoon53



Series: Soft Nights, Quiet Talks [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Post-Episode: s05e04 Lars' Head, and the whole thing kinda got jossed, and then i stopped writing for it, i started this series after that episode, so just pretend i had my life together enough to write this sooner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 20:36:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15127352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMoon53/pseuds/SilverMoon53
Summary: When all is said and done, and Lars and Steven are safely back on Earth, Lars and Steven have a talk.





	What Am I?

**Author's Note:**

> So, like I said in the tags, just pretend I got my life together enough to write and post this before any more episodes came out. This one is kinda short because I didn't quite know where to go with it and if I didn't post it soon I wasn't going to. Sorry about the wait, and there is one more coming. I'll get it out this summer, but no promises beyond that. Enjoy!

It was Lion who set this meeting up. The great beast had simply pestered his child until he had agreed to come along, then ran to grab the other. Once both were on his back, Lion had run to the beach, reared to knock his riders onto to soft sand, and laid down in the setting sun for a nap. 

Now, the boys sat in the light, each waiting for the other to speak. They avoided each other’s eyes, neither knowing what to say. As the minutes stretched on, Lion opened an eye and growled softly at them. They both jumped, the older let out a startled yelp. 

“Right! Okay then,” he said, still not looking at the other. “I guess we should talk. Y’know, now that we’re not in immediate danger.” He cast a glance at the empty sky, as though hoping for a ship to come and attack. Fighting was something he had learned how to do in the weeks following his… incident. Talking about feelings, though? That was something he still wanted to avoid.

“Yeah,” said the younger boy with a uneasy chuckle. “Lion is usually right about this stuff.”

“So, am I like Lion now? I mean, we’re both pink, and-and have that hair portal thing.” He reached up and grabbed at the pink strands. He had planned to let it grow out a bit, easier to use as a portal that way, but it hadn’t changed at all. He stubbornly chose to believe that was because his hair had always grown slowly and not because it had stopped. “What’s the deal with that, anyway?”

“I-I’m not sure. I know it has something to do with my mom and our gem, but…” he trailed off, one hand clutching his shirt. “I don’t know.”

“O-kay then. Why don’t you tell me what you _do_ know, then? I mean, about Lion. Because we clearly are connected, somehow, right? So-” he broke off and swallowed down his rising panic. “So tell me what you know about Lion. Everything.” He _hated_ this, this fear and uncertainty he felt and how it was swelling up inside him. Somehow, after everything he had been through, the battles he had fought in and the lives he had changed, he was still just a scared boy. 

“Well, we don’t know much,” the younger boy started, cutting into the other’s swirling thoughts. “I found him in the desert, and he was my mom’s. His mane leads to another dimension type thing where I can’t breathe but there’s a tree with a bunch of stuff. And now, we know that his mane dimension is connected to your hair. Oh!” the small boy exclaimed, suddenly excited. “And you have your own tree! I think it’s an oak, but I’m not sure.”

“Oh. That’s, kinda cool, I guess.” He pulled his hand away from his hair and ran his fingers over his scar instead. The scar was the best part of the whole ordeal, he mused as he waited for the other to continue talking. It just looked cool. A little cheesy, sure, but it looked good. As the moment stretched out, he grew impatient. “So, what else do you know about Lion?” he prompted. 

“Nothing.”

“ _What?_ Don’t the gems know anything about him? How can you know next to nothing about this lion that’s been following you around for who knows how long?”

“It’s not like we can ask him anything! He can’t talk. And the gems had no idea he even existed. Pearl got really upset when I found him. For whatever reason, my mom kept him secret from her friends.” He sighed, much heavier and deeper than a kid his age should be able to. The older boy hesitated, then laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry. You keep having to deal with the mistakes your mother made and that’s not fair. I shouldn’t have yelled.” He sighed as well, soft and tired. “I’m just scared. I don’t even know _what_ I am anymore. Am I even human anymore? Will I age? Can I- can I still die? Will I still bleed if I get hurt? _Can_ I still get hurt?” 

“I don’t know. I know that my mom had a pride of lions back before Beach City was founded, but I don’t even know if Lion was from that pride or not. All I know, all anyone knows, about him, is that he was connected to my mom and now me. I wish I had answers for you, but I don’t.” 

“I wish I never had to ask these questions,” he chuckled in response. The soft noise died at the look of horror on the young boy’s face, and he scrambled to correct himself. “I’m not sorry you brought me back! I’m glad, and I’m so, _so_ thankful. So _please,_ don’t feel bad about that. I just wish it had never come to that. That none of this ever happened.”

“But it did.”

“Yeah, it did. But we can’t change it now, and I’m glad it ended the way it did. I just wish that we know more about what’s going to happen next.”

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to figure that out then.” The younger boy stood and offered a hand to his friend. “Together.”

“Together,” he agreed. They stood for a while, the air between them no longer clogged with unease but energized with excitement. They would learn what they could and help each other along the way. But for now, they would watch the sunset.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, my tumblr and discord are open if you want to talk to me and/or make requests!
> 
> Writeblr blog: @silverssideblog  
> Discord: cloudcover#7167


End file.
